I came to Talesha as I was facing one of the most significant obstacles in my life. I had dealt with years of emotional torment from my now ex-husband. Our divorce occurred amicably enough as I had finally come to a place where I thought I knew my worth and asked him to leave as he had begged to for so many years before. But the scars he left were still intense and I never really faced them as I was determined to hold my marriage sacred as my amazing children had come from it.
When he decided a few years after our divorce to sue me for full custody, I slowly lost my ability to find that peace. Everything that I had once held dear became desecrated as I learned the truth that I had never meant anything to this man and he truly believed that as he was able to replace me so easily would our children. I was diagnosed with situational anxiety/depression. The doctors thought I had a good grasp on myself and how to deal with life, but this one obstacle was more than I could handle, at the moment.
But the courts do not work fast and the case drug on for years. All the time more lies, hurt, and more attacks levied at me. Combine this with placing my passion of photography (the thing that had buoyed my soul to be able to let him leave) on the side and attempting school full time I was a bundle of insecurity, fear, and anxiety.
I had tried every drug available and was still on the verge of panic attacks at every turn. My friends and family were concerned. I was worried. I was months away from having to sit before a judge and defend the thing I cherished more than life itself, my motherhood, and I even couldn’t see myself capable of sitting in a room with my ex.
Our court-mandated mediation ended quickly as I could only shake uncontrollably and scream at this man who had set out to destroy me, something entirely out of character for me. I was days away from having to sit in a deposition. Me, my lawyer, him and his lawyer…this was a place where I would be scrutinized and attacked by his lawyer till he was done with me. I was scared out of my mind. I had to gain some semblance of decorum and be stronger than I had ever been.
I had been following Talesha for a while and loved her posts. I didn’t think she could help me as I was across the country, but I thought maybe she can at least help guide me to someone local. When I found out she could help me I was thrilled. I quickly set up sessions with her and hoped she could help where no other drug or therapist had.
I first met Amy when she took my families photographs. She was so much fun to be around and I instantly loved her. I was so grateful she reached out and asked me to help her through her court case and healing.
Talesha
Our first session she had me look at myself in a mirror. I saw a tired woman with lines on her face that weren’t from age but anxiety, I had never sat and looked at myself in a long time, and I found this problematic. As we continued our session, I let her guide me and let my preconceived ideas fall. When she asked me to think of a higher power you would have thought I would think of heavenly father as that was the way of our church, but I didn’t I thought of my oldest son…..we worked through some deep issues that day. As I contemplated it afterward, I felt that small peace was entering my heart again.
She sent me some other managing therapies and the day of the deposition came. Beforehand my lawyer rebuked me harshly to avoid my snarky behavior, and I pulled from the toolbox Talesha had given me. Throughout the deposition, I felt calm. I was still shaky, but there was a peace there that I knew what needed to be said and I would say it. When it was all said and done my lawyer looked pleased, a tough thing to do with her, and she said I knew you had it in you, that is the Amy I know. I even felt lighter, stronger. I knew as I sat there that my deepest power was being tapped into and I still had it when I needed it.
I remember feeling so much JOY for Amy as she recounted the events of this day. She truly worked hard to remember her worth and I was so proud of her for holding her ground and showing her strength and true self.
Talesha
We continued with sessions for a few months until the court date. I again struggled with anxiety but it wasn’t as severe, and I was learning coping mechanisms to deal with it all. I took the summer session off to play with my kids and commune with my dearest friends until I had to face the ultimate days of reckoning. As I sat in court, I was still shaky, but as I sat on the stand, I was able to find that peace and communicate effectively the things that needed to be addressed without being snarky or screaming. I won….the next day as my dearest friends, and I sat in celebration.
My ex came to pick up my youngest son. I answered the door delivered my son to him and sat back down to the discussion at hand. One friend stopped the conversation and said “Amy, you’re not shaking?” tears in her eyes and everyone in the room it was the first time in a very long time that I wasn’t.
Am I healed? Do I no longer suffer from stress and anxiety? I wish I could say I didn’t, but I can’t. It was too many years to overcome quickly. But I have the necessary skills to pull in deep, feel that pink ribbon surrounding my soul and let my mind find the places that need to be released within my soul. For that alone, I will be eternally grateful of Talesha and her sweet, caring spirit that helped me fill my reserves and move forward. To connect with Amy, visit her here