Triggers. What the heck are they really?
I use to expect others, mainly Paul to not do anything that would trigger me because who likes that feeling? Who likes being a ball of anxiety and panic because of something that reminded you of past hurt? Not me. And here’s what I had to learn.
It wasn’t others responsibility to be on eggshells around me. It’s my responsibility to manage me and what I feel. It is my trapped emotions, my beliefs and my behaviors. No one else’s. How unfair of me to expect that others tip toe around me and not live their life because I was offended, hurt or triggered so easily.
And by ignoring my personal triggers, I was hurting myself. Hurting myself because I was carrying so much pain, fear and sadness. Your cup won’t always be full, but if you don’t try to fill it up, you won’t ever see a positive result.
I had to teach myself to take a step back. When someone says something triggering, or I see something triggering I have to pause for a moment. Reacting simply out of immediate emotion is damaging. You might be like me and say things you would have normally never said. By taking that moment you’re respecting yourself enough to say, “I need a moment to process this and then I can respond.” And that’s okay.
Here’s something not a lot of people know. Trauma doesn’t have to be a big thing like going to war and seeing other people dying around you. Trauma can be being bullied when you were younger. It can be a parent who was emotionally unstable, abusive or absent. It can be losing your health or your financial stability. It can be from a car wreck, or experience that made you feel shock.
So many experiences in life can be traumatic and harmful to your emotional and physical well-being. You do not have to feel shame any longer for things that have hurt you deeply in life. It’s okay to let them go.
It’s your responsibility to release those things that trigger you. To deal with the emotions so that you aren’t constantly in a state of being triggered. Because your body will keep triggering you till you face it. It will show up in your relationships, your health and your finances till you accept the growth that needs to happen.
While I was going through a traumatic experience, everyday was exhausting. And the littlest things would set me into a deep depression. I had to tell those around me that I just couldn’t have those conversations because it was too painful while I was working through it. And there’s a difference between pushing your feelings down and allowing yourself space to heal while working on triggers.
Try to look at it this way. Your life has never been the same since your trauma. You still will get triggered and in place of that negative downward feeling you can be thankful for it because it means you can clear out more junk that you don’t need in your life.
Embrace the feelings, they are here to teach you something.
Triggers are so painful. I know because I’ve lived them. You are not weak. You are strong. You will get through it. You deserve love. You are valued. You are needed.
All my love,
Talesha