Rejection isn’t fun, from your teens to your 50’s. I always pictured myself being in my 30’s and not caring about rejection. I thought, “I’ll be older and have a family I love, and not care anymore about dumb stuff.” For some reason, in high school, I always thought age would heal all my problems.
Well, flash forward to today… Rejection still sucks just as bad as it did ten years ago. Everyone faces rejection in life. There may be a work promotion you don’t get, someone who doesn’t want to date you, a friend who ditched you as soon as they got a boyfriend, or your resume that wasn’t accepted. Whatever it may be, it’s all in your response to it that will impact you the greatest.
Playing the victim and saying, “Oh, I didn’t want that job anyways!” Can often appear disingenuous, and that’s because it is. People who are strong mentally take the situation and ask themselves, “what did I learn from this?” That way it flips the narrative and when rejection comes, they are constantly learning from it.
Remember your success chances. Putting yourself in situations that the odds are stacked against you isn’t a great idea. While you may not be able to judge if that guy you asked out will say yes or not, you can assume that if they have already declined a date, the chances are high that they will do the same thing.
Use rejection as an amazing opportunity to self reflect. If a job doesn’t accept your resume, you can ask them why they didn’t choose yours. Although it won’t feel very good to hear their response, it can teach you what needs shifted next time you apply. And where things went wrong so you can continue to learn.
In most situations, the rejectee is given some very useful information that can be taken forward.
Give yourself time to grieve the “loss”. Moving too fast after and pushing the pain of rejection down will only build, build, build and then BREAK later on. It’s important to really feel all of our emotions as they come.
Talk to someone you trust. For me it would be my sister. I know that she will always tell it to me straight. I know that if I ask what I could have done differently in a rejection she will always give me feedback.
Get out and get your body moving! Sitting home and moping around being sad and doing nothing to change it will only continue the heartbreak. I love going on a walk to clear my mind and get my body moving. Most times you have to convince yourself it’ll be worth it, but I promise you’ll feel a million times better!
I love the phrase, “it didn’t work out.” because it takes away the blame on the other person and you. And it didn’t stop you from reaching your goals. This just means, the next opportunity will still be great.
Don’t worry if rejection is hard on you. It’s hard on all of us. Nobody likes feeling like they aren’t good enough. These ways above should help you accept and move on from rejection in no time!
Always remember to find the learning experience in every “no” you hear.
All my love,
Talesha