We all have bad habits. Some have followed us since childhood, others come through stresses of adulthood. Having bad habits can limit our potential. By allowing them to control parts of our life it’s difficult to move forward.
The first step is being aware of these bad habits. If you want to break them, you need to understand them. This is a huge first step, but very important if your goal is to stop them once and for all.
My bad habits:
Picking my fingers. I’m not sure when this habit first started, but I do know I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember. This is a habit I use to get my mind off of stress. I do it without even realizing.
Over most of my life, I have picked my fingers so badly that they are permanently miscolored in different spots. It takes a lot of self-control to tell myself mid bad habit that “It’s not worth it, you need to stop.”
In high school, I was so ashamed of this that I hid my hands. Even with people I dated, I never wanted them to judge me. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I felt comfortable enough to talk about it.
He asked me straight up “Why do your fingers look like that?” I answered honestly, “Because I pick them.” it made him so sad because he thought about how bad I must be hurting myself. When I explained to him that it actually didn’t hurt at all, he was shocked. “well” he said, “you need to stop.” And now, anytime he catches me doing it, he yells, “Emma, stop picking your fingers!”
His unconditional love around something I used to be so ashamed of has given me the confidence to stop. I’m not perfect, but I plan to break this habit by the end of the year. A reasonable goal considering I’ve been doing it most of my life.
Biting my lip. This bad habit started in high school. I do it when I’m nervous. My mom first noticed and would tell me to stop because it became an everyday thing.
I didn’t notice how much I had really been doing it until she started calling me out on it. I am so grateful she did because I was able to notice this bad habit and take steps to decrease how often I did it.
Now several years later, I still see how this habit affects me. My lips get really cracked and discolored. I noticed that an effective way for me to not bite my lips is to constantly wear lipstick. It’s my lips protective shield and when they are hydrated, I don’t even think about it.
Not thinking I’m good enough. I’m sure this rings true with a lot of you. For me, I’ve always held myself to an unrealistically high standard.
My house has to be spotless. No dirt on the ground. My laundry needs to be washed and put away after drying. My makeup needs to be done and my eyebrows have to be flawless. I have to always be kind to people no matter how bad they hurt me. Rise above. Heaven forbid I stand up for myself, I will beat myself up for it for days and then apologize because I should have just let it go.
I get in my head and start thinking “My laundry isn’t done, there’s a sink full of dishes, dinner isn’t made, why am I so bad at life?” If one thing isn’t perfect I start spiraling about how bad of a wife I am, a friend I am, and home keeper.
It took several conversations with my mom to know it’s hard doing it all. It’s not realistic and it’s not easy. And news flash all the Insta famous people who look like they have it all together, don’t. They hire a maid most times to get everything done. I can’t do a million things at once. I’m still enough even if dinner is ramen noodles.
Bad habits are so hard to notice and admit to yourself. It takes a lot of strength to notice the flaws you try so hard to hide. I think you would be surprised at just how many people struggle with the same things you do.
You aren’t alone. You are enough. You are loved.
When you set a goal on breaking bad habits, set realistic ones. AND GIVE YOURSELF SOME SLACK. Even though you set a goal doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect and it’ll never happen again. You’ve spent a lifetime making these habits it might take a lifetime to break them.
All my love.