You know that common greeting of, “How are you?” and you always reply with “good!” even if you are not in fact, good. Can you imagine how people would react if you replied with, “Life has actually been really challenging this week. My job was really, really hard, I felt like I wasn’t present with my kids and I had to do everything I could to not break down every hour. I’ve been really hard on myself.” People wouldn’t know what to say. They’d be shocked you honestly answered their question. And then most likely say, “oh I’m so sorry!” and awkwardly walk away.
Sometimes we tell ourselves we have to be “good” even if we aren’t. We have to be strong when life gets hard. But, you don’t have to be. We should feel our emotions, really feel them so that for the next step, we can let them go. We don’t have to keep telling ourselves over and over, “I’m doing great.” if that’s a lie.
There has been a constant thought in my head throughout this week… “It’s okay to not always be okay.” I place a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, the perfect wife, mom, friend, daughter, employee and so on. And guess what, sometimes we don’t always have the perfect week. Sometimes things don’t go as planned and that’s okay!
How many of you have seemed to have a domino effect of negativity and blame it all on you? Saying things such as, “I could have been more positive and happy.” “I could have done more.” “I took several steps back instead of improving myself.”
I will be the first to admit that this week kinda kicked my butt. Every day I thought “maybe if I’m happier today, I will have a better day.” So, I tried my hardest. I woke up and envisioned my day. All the amazing things that would take place. I listened to empowering podcasts and then, I went to work.
When things didn’t go as I envisioned they would, I blamed myself. “Why is this happening?” I asked myself. “Things weren’t supposed to go this way.” When in reality, there was nothing I could have done differently to change the outcome. However, I blamed myself for the wayward of my day.
I think that so many of us struggle with taking on the world. Let’s all take a deep breath and exhale the harsh expectations we place on ourselves. Exhaling the things that made us feel insignificant, not loved or too self-critical.
The reality is that we won’t always be 100% all the time. That makes us human. It proves we are improving and challenging ourselves to grow. A great question to ask yourself while going through the hard times is, “Am I growing from this and learning everything I can from it, or complaining and remaining the same?”
Today I sat down and processed my week, the good, the bad and the ugly. Every conversation ran through my head, every action I took, every tear and angry thought I had ran through my head. I allowed myself to feel and process. Then, I let it go. I let it all go. Tomorrow is a new day, a new start to create a beautiful life. I won’t allow myself to hold onto the negativity this week has brought any longer. This won’t control my inner thoughts for one more second.
“Take mental breaks as often as possible. Instead of reacting to every thought, try letting it go. Your reaction is what keeps negative thoughts alive. Think positive. Make peace with it and release it. Be conscious and active in your mental space so you don’t get overwhelmed.” -averstu.com
I may not have had a great week, but I am letting it go. A bad week doesn’t mean a bad life. I’m excited for Monday when I can get up and try again. I can learn from everything this week taught me. It isn’t always easy and I haven’t been perfect at taking my own advice, but today I’m choosing to move on. To learn.
Don’t be so harsh on yourself for not being okay and feeling like you have to be. Take the time needed to process your emotions. To feel. You are human, an amazing, kind, imperfect HUMAN. And I am so proud of you for the person you are today because of the experiences life has given you. You have survived 100% of your bad days. Nothing can stop you now.
All my love,
Talesha