I’ve always been able to pick up on people’s energy around me. Good, or bad which means I had to learn how to protect myself from their negativity. If I don’t shield myself, I take it on. I feel what they are feeling and if it’s bad, this can potentially ruin my day.
The aftermath of being in crowds left me feeling tired, anxious and even depressed. My home became my safe haven where I could immediately crawl into bed and find peace and quiet. Once I discovered this about myself and how much energy it took out of me, I quickly learned how to protect myself.
Distance yourself from soul-sucking people. If you have a class with them, try sitting as far away as you can. Being close to somebody increases your empathy for them. Once you have distanced yourself see how you feel. Is your mood happier and spirit lighter? Don’t stress out about hurting their feelings. If they are taking life away from you, it’s time to remove them.
Now, this isn’t easy. A few years ago I had to do this with my childhood best friend. I loved her so much that when I was around her I took her problems on. They weighed me down. Realizing even after this that I still couldn’t change her, I knew my soul needed a break.
I didn’t know for how long, but I allowed myself as much time as I needed to heal. And allow for her to heal as well. 3 years later as she started reaching out and apologizing I slowly started seeing her again. I really listened to my body after being around her. If I felt exhausted, I knew it wasn’t the right time. I’m happy to say she’s back in my life. A healthier, happier version of the girl years prior.
Meditate if you know you will be in a draining crowd. Focus on yourself for this little meditation moment. Feel your heartbeat. Ground yourself to mother earth below you and the heavens above you. Don’t give in. If you come across emotional distress while in a crowd, think fast. Leave the room and find a quiet safe space to meditate for a minute. Focus on all the positivity and love that surrounds you.
Set healthy boundaries. You can say “NO” to stressful people. You don’t have to feel like the bad guy for protecting yourself. If the conversation turns mean or critical in any way, cut them off. Set clear limits and boundaries with them so they know what you do and do not accept. Also, remember that “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe them anything more as an explanation.
Visualize a wall of protection around you. Many people in the medical field use this as a way to protect themselves from harmful patients. Visualize a white border around you only letting in what benefits you. If someone is extremely toxic you can imagine a strong lion walking around you. Fighting for only the best for you. Not letting anything or anyone who will drain you in.
If you don’t have time to do these things before you find yourself in draining situations, go home and take a shower. Visualize all the negative energy falling off of you and down the drain. Take deep breathes as you let it all go. Allow yourself to relax and release.
You don’t need to carry these emotions to really love someone. Giving yourself away like this is harming you and holding you back. Set your boundaries and stick to them no matter who it is, spouse or stranger. And if at the end of the day you need to remove them from your life so you can heal, do what’s best for you.