“How do you feel Talesha?” I didn’t know how to respond. Feeling anything other than intense, painful grief was new to me. I had lived absent from my heart for a year.
I stared blankly for several minutes trying to gather my thoughts, trying to explain how I didn’t feel the gaping hole bleeding within myself. Or even how I didn’t feel the utter darkness surrounding me.
Tears flowed down my cheeks as I said, “I can feel light.” And to this day that light has never left me. I feel it, breath it and live it. That one session sparked a drive in me to learn, heal, and be happy.
1 year later.
I was praying for answers. Almost in desperation seeking answers as to why my grandma had to go? Why did her life have to end? Why was I the one who found her? I had so many questions. And so answer. I was tired of the BS answer that she was happy, pain-free. Tired of people telling me I needed to move on. Tired of the speech of she’s in a better place. All of that made me want to gag.
I was now living without daily grief, I had gone 3 and then 6 months without an anxiety/panic attack. I felt love like I hadn’t felt the whole previous year. But because I no longer had those overwhelming emotions it left space for questions and questions that seemed to have no answer.
So, I hit my knees as I always do when the doubts sink in. I asked those questions and like I said above, nearly begged to have some sort of answer.
That’s when I felt her. That’s when I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I allowed myself to feel what I hoped would be an answer.
As I felt the words she spoke to me were gently placed in my heart and mind. I KNEW she was with me. Her answer was simple and I felt comfort.
As the years have gone on, 4 to be exact that peace has come and go, sometimes bringing with it anger and deep guilt. But what she shared with me that day will never leave me. My purpose needed to come about and I wouldn’t have had the courage, strength or knowledge to step into my purpose, without losing her. Without finding her, and without grieving deeply.
So, every single prayer for healing I said after her passing was necessary for me. I needed to go through every pain I did. And that pain was and is for a greater purpose. Not just for me, but the individuals I am able to help.
It was that day, nearly 2 years after her passing that I realized my calling and why I was called to do it in this life. I am called to be an emotional healer. To love, support, and strengthen people through their darkest pain.
I needed to go through pain, sorrow, and life-changing experiences to humble me enough to walk the depths of despair with others.
If you find yourself head deep and sinking further into your pain, just know, that pain isn’t in vain and that you can use it to help another who is hurting.
It was soon after that answer came that I felt impressed to turn my knowledge of energy healing and social work into my emotional healing business Foster Vitality.
My message is that you’re never alone. That your spirit knows how to heal, and your worth is not dependent on “how good you are.” You’re amazing and incredible as is. And if there is something that is blocking you from knowing that. I’ll help you find it. Because you’re LOVED, not just by me but by GOD.
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All my love,
Talesha