This time last year, I was living in my
I have been on this healing journey since my twins were born in 2013 – slowly awakening. It started with our diet, then emotional awareness, and learning about chakras. I have a deep love and calling towards it and used my knowledge to help myself some and mostly others. While I was growing, my partner was struggling with addiction. As I ascended, his demons took more hold of him. In 2017 I packed our truck and went to his parents in hopes he’d be ready. He wasn’t.
I was reliving a nightmare, even the smell of him reminded me of my father whom also struggled with addiction. I had to break the cycle. It was a constant pull between deep gratitude for my awareness and anger that this was where my life was. Guilt that my children were feeling the heartbreak and not being able to take it away. Thankfully I had the capability to fully understand and empathize with them. To hear them and to love them through it. It was the hardest role in my existence because my heart was shattered as well.
His sister opened her home to us and we moved in. I held onto my ex, sending him love and showed compassion. I felt stuck. If I got a job and home, I would “leave him behind” or I stay where I was and drowned to death. On May 2nd, I messaged Talesha after following her for about a year on Facebook. We talked and I FINALLY did it, I did something for myself – haha! Immediately I sent her the payment so I couldn’t talk myself out of it. The package I signed up for was a 6-week check-in for emotion release and three phone sessions. I had so much fear, anger, guilt, and shame
That first phone call I talked to Jessica filled me with so much gratitude for her and her bravery. I couldn’t believe the number of emotions she was dealing with and doing it while trying to break a deep cycle of addiction. I could tell she was scared but she did it anyway.
Talesha
We released emotions from my child, adolescence years, in the womb and generational. My role growing up and until that point was the responsible one. I was codependent on the addicts in my life (my dad, mom, fiancé). Addiction runs deep in my family and I felt responsible for them! It turns out that I had no idea who my soul self was, what she enjoyed and what she wanted to do. As I released years of stuck emotions and self-doubt, my life began to shift.
Watching Jessica let these emotions go was an experience I’ll never forget. I watched as even her tone, reactions, and spirit shifted towards more courage to finally see herself.
Talesha
I set boundaries and for the first time ever listen to my soul self. A week later, I went out to search for a job after staying home with my babies for the past 5 years. I was terrified! I drove past the golf course close by and got offered the job to start the next day. Holy crap! So exciting and scary! What will I do for childcare? What will happen next? I would not be guided by fear. I was abundant in love and support, my family and friends helped with my kids and I applied for childcare assistance. Oh and I applied for an apartment within that same week. If it was meant to be then it would be. Meanwhile, I did my first phone session with Talesha and connected with my 10 year old self. That sad, angry, alone child that felt unloved was given so much love from myself, angels, divine spirit, my mom and dad’s highest self. It was life changing.
I remember shedding tears on my end of the phone. I could feel how important this was for her and to be apart of it filled my soul with joy for her.
Talesha
We moved into our new home on June 1st and got approved for childcare! Found a daycare close to work and even more amazing is that they transported to the elementary school that my boys started. At this point, I’m still reluctant on letting Mikey (my fiancé) go. How could I “betray”, “abandon” some one that needs me? This was my person for my entire adult life. But this person he became was not the person I knew and was in love with. I continued to release, guilt – so much guilt. Along with fear and anger. Deep rooted anger from my great grandmother! I was feeling so much lighter. I could ask myself question and get clear answers.
With my next phone session we did cord cutting. It turned out that the most important relationships in my life were unhealthy for me. It was freeing to cut cords and send them away with love. I connected with the highest self of the ones that I felt hurt by. In that moment, I realized it was not personal. My adult self knew that but my child self needed the validation. It wasn’t me, I’ve always been enough! Meanwhile, I held onto Mikey, hoping he’d get it together. We had sold our home and he was now homeless. After letting him back into my house for a week, the inconsistency and drug use continued. Finally, I said no more. I had to tell my best friend of 10 years that he was no longer allowed at my house. He was homeless and doing nothing to help himself – I could not save him but continued to send him love.
In August I officially ended our “relationship” because at this point it was not even a relationship. There was lots of resistance. Thankfully, I signed up for weekly check ins with Talesha because there was still so much healing to be done. Some days I felt on top of the world, had a flow between work and the kids plus school and maintaining time to connect with my babies. Other days, I felt defeated. Just done. I was so tired, burnt out and overwhelmed. Completely alone. I had a phone check in with Talesha and she validated my feelings then reminded me that I was NOT alone. For as long as I could remember I have felt alone. When I was 10, religion was forced onto me and left a bad impression on me and I had a block with my higher power. Now, I know that I am never alone.
In November I signed up for a women’s retreat, focusing on feminine energy, reiki, yoga and connecting with like minded women. My friend went with me and it was surreal. EXACTLY what I needed. I set intentions to be present and mindful, to fully take in the experience and it was incredible! I also did another class with Talesha that focused on feminine energy. As a single mom and my conditioning, I needed to balance my feminine energy. With our daily grind, I needed the reminder to be soft, gentle and flow with life. I incorporated more dancing into my life, affirmations, and connecting back to myself.
I have to feel super uncomfortable in order to make change and I am grateful for all the shit because the growth is so rewarding and empowering! When I was in the 3rd grade they asked what we wanted to be when we grew up – I wrote 1. Mother 2. Teacher and 3. Veterinarian. In order to teach others, I must learn myself. Talesha helped remind me of the gifts I have always possessed so when I heard that she teaches the techniques she uses, I didn’t question it at all – I signed up for the class. I have lots to work on and I’m confident I can help others in the process.
I have been so proud of Jessica. She has conquered every question I’ve asked her, she’s been open with herself, and truly tried everything I’ve asked her to and it has been monumental to her growth.
Talesha
In January, Mikey is in jail facing years in prison and I found the courage to tell my children. I’ve been avoiding it for a long time and found the courage to tell them the simpliest form of the truth. It only propelled us further into our healing journey. This is our/their life and I can’t protect them from all the hurt but I assure them that we will get through it together. One thing I tell them is that I can not take the pain away but can relate to how they feel, I have literally been in the same position. Having an open/empathic conversation about how it makes them feel is how I can help them. It is a continuous reminder that I have to be the best version of myself and be what I needed when I was a child.
Only to further the growth, a few weeks ago my physical health tanked. I felt exhausted, intense brain fog, food allergies from out of no where and anxiety. I thought I was dying a couple times. I knew what to do because a close friend had experienced similar issues. I cut coffee, grains, dairy and eggs – researched the GAPS diet and went all in without a second thought. My impatience gets the best of me and I doubt myself still so I found an amazing naturopathic dr that confirmed my thoughts. Leaky gut, adrenal, hormones and my symptoms were all connected. We talked for 5 hrs about my past and current life and he made some suggestions. Along with the diet changes, I started to dry brush, detox baths, added some supplements and began light excersizing daily. Journaling! I still had lots of anger/resentment and fear so I asked my body how to release these emotions. It’s incredible what you can find out when you ask and listen. I can say now that I am feeling relief and better than before. I have put in work and commitment to this healing yet began to neglect my physical body. The universe reminded me to self care.
This healing journey of mine has been brutal! I felt ripped wide open and the most vulnerable I’ve ever allowed myself to be. It has been awful and enjoyable. I am forever grateful for this life of mine, my healthy children and the abundance of love and support around us.
I am ready to work with Talesha too!